Just before New Year we always look back at the current soon-to-be-last year and make an assessment of what went down; some do it with a little intensity, while most of us, including myself, tend to give it a cursory glance - but it’s an exercise we all carry out at this time of the year. For me, December is a rueful month because it feels like the end of a long peaceful dream, like watching the last episode of a good TV show, as if  you’re packing your house to move to a new unknown place, or perhaps reading the last chapter of a good book. It feels like letting go an old and faithful friend, like the fading music of a beautiful song… But I don’t like closure, even happy endings are depressing for me. I have never been good at saying goodbyes, and it’s so sad because it’s inevitable.

There’s no denying I’ve had my share of difficulties, setbacks and heartaches – we all do, but I must say I’m lucky because I can’t recall them by name, all I have is a shrouded memory of their arrival and departure. I’m glad time has slowly taught me to forget certain things that aren’t worth remembering. While I grieve with all those people for whom this has been a year of sorrow, loss and separation, now all is well that ends well.

Countless SMSes and status updates seeking forgiveness for past misdeeds herald the end of the year, so do messages of gratitude, and wishes for the future. I too pray for forgiveness - have prayed a countless time - but I don’t think I’ll be sending out such a message tonight. They know it all. But they should also know that I’ve punished myself enough for my transgressions, I do hope the wounds heal with the love of God.

I love listening to others’ New Year resolutions – it’s like reading a fairy tale because we have such vivid imaginations. I don’t know how many actually got accomplished because I don’t follow up on them and I tend to forget things quickly. But I do admire them for at least having the courage to make one. For me it’s easier to do things without a promise - maybe I’m commitment phobic, or just a coward. So I’ll just put off my New Year resolutions this time as well. But I sincerely hope people never tire of making them because I have no doubt the record keeper is witnessing an increase in the achievement percentage.

2013 - What secrets have you in store for us? What surprises have you lain out in our path? What gifts will you bear, what sorrows will you sell us? Who have you fated us to meet; whom will you take from us this time? Will you bring me a windfall, or push me to loss; will you give me triumph or will I find defeat? We are filled with curiosity about the future – our curiosity laced with apprehension - it’s all but human nature. Yet there is one more thing God has imbued us all with, it’s the greatest force within us - we go on despite all the negativity, in the face of adversity we strive on because there is always a light called Hope. May the light of hope shine ever brighter in our hearts throughout the year, and many more to come.

Prosperity and happiness are already in our wish list - by default. In addition, I do hope our roads are in a better condition this year, and our electricity supply is a little improved; I pray that no more innocent lives are taken by those who cannot give - and the guilty forgiven by those who can. I also wish that the poor stop getting exploited by the rich, and the strong start helping the weak instead of subjugating them. World peace is too big for me, so I’ll wish that everyone lives peacefully with their neighbors, and that the poor get more income because inflation always hits them harder. I also hope that this year more people are able to stand on their own feet without government aid. I pray that elections stop becoming killing fields and people are given their right to vote. I wish that we all get better internet facility and schools are able to educate the students to be good human beings too. I wish drugs abuse among the youth ends and fathers stop burying their sons. I wish boys stop hurting their girlfriends and girls stop seeking attention from everyone. I wish that broken hearts find love again and break-ups cease to exist forever; I wish that a man no longer breaks his promise, and I wish that there are no more ‘unavoidable circumstances’.  I hope that lovers start writing letters again and our addiction to facebook is lifted.

As my child grows, I also hope that the streets become safer for little girls; that young boys play with balls and bats again instead of toy guns, and that deserted alleys are no longer frightful places for small small children. I hope married men stop looking at other women and girls are allowed to choose their life partners. I hope that girls working in night shifts can be proud of their work and no longer be afraid of the dark, and I wish for more gender equality. And my old fashioned mind fervently wishes that the age at which kids today become aware of their sexuality is pushed back a little. At least by a decade if I could have my way. I wish that wounded friendships are mended and that our fights always end in reconciliation. I hope I learn to see good in others before I criticize, and that I am able to improve relations between my family members. I wish that this coming year – in 2013, family reunions take place more frequently, and that I am able to take the first step in making peace with my brother.

Each year is a good year if you look at things with a grateful heart. They say experience is a great teacher. Looking back, I now find that the ups and downs I encountered have all been doing just that – the good taught me to be thankful, the bad made me stronger, and the ugly gave me wisdom (maybe not). Now if I draw up my Profit & Loss account for the year, I know that I’ll find the profits surpass the losses by a country mile; and we have already beaten the odds just by being alive – thank You Lord.  

This is my final handshake - adios December, it was nice knowing you.