She lay bleeding in the emergency room with nurses hovering like vultures on a carcass. I guess we have all been conditioned to survive from the day we take our first breath; and she was putting up a good fight-I could almost see each cell of her body clinging on to life. There was nothing I could do except grope into the deepest parts of my consciousness and seek God, and pray. I held her hand, and then I saw Precious, my Precious, and realized it was all my undoing… and everything came back like a bursting floodgate...

_______________________________

We met at the university library. Fresh out of college, she couldn’t be older than 20, and she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She was tall and held her head high when she walked. Her big eyes shaded by the perfectly curved eyebrows that looked like an upturned new moon, and her pink lips always carried a smile as if to mask the sadness in her eyes. She wore no make-up except for a touch of eyeliner and lip gloss to keep her lips moisturized. It was her simplicity that made her look so beautiful. But above all, it was the warmth she radiated that drew me to her. We became friends, then good friends, and before long we became a couple.

After university she got a job at a law firm and me in a company as a delivery man. The pay wasn’t much but it was start nevertheless. The company scooter helped too. I could pay my rent on time, buy meat every Sunday and even manage to save a few hundred rupees a month. She suggested that we open a savings account, and since her salary was double of mine, she also offered to keep twice the amount I saved. I was reluctant at first but couldn’t deny her logic. So we opened a joint account and she signed the papers as my wife. That was one of the happiest days of my life. Later we both found ourselves giggling at each other with tears welling up in our eyes. And I finally decided to ask her to marry me.

During one of my delivery rounds I was sent to this little-known address. Attached to the residence was a small jewellery shop called Joharias. I found the door ajar but no one responded when I rang the bell. Then I stepped in as if being pulled by an invisible force, and I felt something underneath my slippers. I picked it up and remained mesmerized for maybe hours-or seconds I’m not sure anymore. Instantly I was enchanted by that shiny little entity, and I can’t comprehend why I put it inside my pocket. But it oddly felt heavier than a diamond ring normally would. I guess guilt has a physical weight after all. Rubbing my sweaty palms on my trousers I reassured myself that fate had deliberately placed it there for me, and it immediately felt precious.

I swiftly ran to the door, rang the bell a couple more times just to make sure - no response - then walked out quietly, careful not to touch anything. Once out of the property, I looked up and down for vehicles or pedestrians but the road was deserted as far as I could see. So I rode away till I reached a safe distance, turned around to make it appear as if I was going towards the residence, killed the engine, and called my boss to fetch me. There were no witnesses; I had an alibi since I “never” reached the residence and now even my employer would vouch for it. When my colleagues arrived, I kicked the old can, cursed it a few times and even demanded a new one to reinforce my point before we were transported back in the company truck.

Weeks passed but the dreaded call never came nor did the local police show any newfound interest in me. Our savings also grew gradually and one day I asked her,
“Do you love me?”
“Of course I do.”
“Do you trust me with our money?”
“I trust you with my life.”

But my questions seemed to worry her so I lied and said I wanted to buy her a “surprise gift”. Naturally she protested and would not have our entire savings spent on her, and so began our first fight since we started dating. Men always resort to emotional blackmail when they know they’re wrong and can’t win an argument with a woman. And that was exactly what I did with my YOU-WANT-TO-CONTROL-EVERYTHING-BECAUSE-YOU-HAVE-MORE-MONEY bomb. So she finally yielded but not without calling me a hundred names and shedding gallons of tears.
 
The next day I cashed all our savings and although there was a jewellery shop just a few blocks from where I lived, I made for the farthest one that I could manage. After memorizing the price of the closest match with the one I had in my pocket, I moved on to a Honda showroom, the nearest one this time, and left with a brand new white Activa. But no time for insurance today, I thought, and made a mental note to get it done first thing tomorrow. I knew she wanted a scooty and could have easily bought it herself but saving for the future was more important for her. So we never spoke of it while the desire kept burning in our hearts. Now with my heart racing I rode towards our rendezvous. Every time I hit a speed breaker I could almost feel my heart jump off into the gravel. I was excited; I had to be, because today I had the biggest surprise for her. No, two actually.

I had asked her to come straight to Andrea’s Restaurant after work. I had already booked a “window table” overlooking the parking track, and I deliberately arrived 10 minutes late so she could see me arrive on our new Activa. She appeared to be even more beautiful with the look of shock, disbelief and fury she gave me but eventually calmed down when I lied that since the scooter was getting too rusty, the Boss had finally decided to replace it with this one; and that the best part was, I could keep it after two years.

After ordering food I told her I had another surprise for her, besides the Activa, and she replied she had one too and would tell me after she heard mine. So I took out the ring, got down on my knees and with my heart threatening to explode out of my chest, I finally asked her to marry me. But when she just sat there silently with that sad and demure look in her eyes, my fears took over and I began blurting out all my love, affection and countless other qualities which I thought I possessed. She still kept quiet while my tirade went from bad to worse. Finally she burst out laughing and lovingly brushed my hair and said, “Silly, I have long given you my heart. Of course I’ll marry you!”, and we found ourselves shedding tears of joy for the second time.

Although she was a little saddened thinking I had spent all our savings on that ring- but it was indeed beautiful, even more so when she wore it, and with the rock glinting in her watery eyes I could tell she was the happiest girl alive at that moment. And we named it ‘Precious’. When she wanted the case I had to lie once more because I didn’t have it, and I told her I threw it presuming she would never take the ring off again. To change the subject I asked about her surprise and she replied, “Give me the keys now and I’ll tell you when I return.” As I handed her the keys I asked her where she was going, and I heard her say something about taking the Activa for a spin and getting a box for Precious from Joharias. It suddenly felt like someone had just punched me in the guts, but she was gone before I could stop her.

With my heart pounding I caught a cab and chased after her, and soon we were stopped by a gathering outside Joharias. The crowd was growing by the minute and even from a distance I could spot Precious, or it was more like a beacon trying desperately to catch my eye amidst the congregation. Slowly I dragged my feet towards the center, my fears engulfing me with each step. As I got closer, the murmurs grew louder, “shop closed… turning around…” “accident” “it was a hit and run” “the ambulance is coming”. It took all my willpower, and all my courage to wade through the final wall of bystanders to reach the wreckage, but it was not nearly enough.

And I screamed.
_______________________________

Usually one of these two things happen when we’re struck by tragedy; we either start blaming God for all our misfortunes, or our faith in Him strengthens. But I felt neither rage not strengthened faith manifest in me. I just stood there numb. I was still holding her hand, still spellbound by the small rock that sparkled on her finger, until the nurse shook me out of my trance and said to me,
“Sir, I’m really sorry for what happened but you shouldn’t have let her ride in that condition.”
“What condition?” I asked.
“Didn’t she tell you she was pregnant?”

Oh Lord, so that was the surprise she had for me…
_______________________________

“The doc wants you in ICU, NOW!” the nurse yelled and immediately rushed back in. I don’t think I could have moved if the doctor himself hadn’t come out to escort me. He gently put an arm around my shoulders and it felt warm and reassuring. Was it to comfort me or for support, only heaven knows. But in my experience, the more kindness your doctors show, the worse is the news they have in store for you. Stop being so depressing, I half-heartedly admonished myself, and in vain. They had cleaned her up the best that they could. Countless pipes seemed to snake in and out from everywhere, even her nose, and they must have caught the look of alarm I had seeing the strange mask on her face. “Breathing apparatus,” they told me, “to help a patient breathe in oxygen when the body was…”

I had stopped listening.

I was oblivious to the world around me, there was chaos but I didn’t hear a sound. My eyes were glued to the monitor with the green line running across the screen. I knew how it worked; I had seen it countless times in the movies. I knew a person’s life was somehow connected to the spikes in that line. I was holding her hand and I squeezed whenever the line twitched as if willing it to go higher and higher… And then, as the air grew cold a chill went up my spine, and even without looking I understood the line had gone flat. Fate had played its final card on me. And at that moment, the ring quietly slipped off her finger and fell into mine.

I didn’t cry nor feel the tears burning my cheeks, I had a million things to tell her but couldn’t speak a word. I was frozen. Ironically, it all ended where it had all begun- at Joharias. Everything snatched away in one blow- the brand new Activa gone without insurance, our unborn child taken even before he had a chance at life; and finally, the love of my life.

In one cruel sweep Precious had finally claimed its price.